Birth Story: Simon Atlas

After my OB basically guaranteeing that I'd go into labor before Christmas (based on my dilation+effacement+baby size), you can imagine how ready I was when it was almost a week post Christmas and I was still very much pregnant (I know, I shouldn't have believed her, but I did!). After my 38 week ultrasound (only the 3rd I'd ever had) they adjusted my due date from Jan. 3rd to Dec 31st. Not only was that exciting because that was 4 less days that I might not be pregnant but it would also be nice for the taxes ;).

I had an OB appointment on the 30th with Wendy a Nurse Practitioner I had never met (but really liked). She checked me and was going to strip my membranes, but there was nothing to strip. She said he was so low, I was 100% effaced, dilated to a 4 and was watching me have somewhat regular contractions right there on the table, so she thought I should go to the hospital right away.

I smiled and nodded and got myself dressed.  I didn't feel like I was anywhere near having the baby, so I had no intention of checking myself into the hospital just yet. I knew the longer you're at the hospital, the quicker (and potentially more) interventions they would try and introduce and I was aiming to go for as long as possible without interventions. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to go natural this time around, but I wanted to know how bad it got so that if I ever did want to try natural I would have some idea of what I was signing up for.

As we walked out to the car, Marcus started saying how we needed to run home and get the bag and get Poppy squared away, and then I told him that I wasn't going to the hospital. He wasn't so excited about that idea. I reminded him that I had written out a birth plan and he had agreed to support me on it and that one of the points was that I was going to labor out of the hospital for as long as I could. On the car ride home, I had to actually call and cancel the prenatal massage I had scheduled, in hopes that it would put me into labor, because I already WAS in labor!

We went back to my mom's house where my two sisters were and told them that it looked like I was in real labor and would probably have the baby pretty soon! It was exciting, but also I felt very calm. "Too calm," as Marcus would put it.

He was going crazy all day. He couldn't understand why I wasn't freaking out and why I wasn't listening to the NP's advice and going to the hospital. I told him that if this is what labor felt like, then I was just fine with having him right there in my mom's bathtub, but that what I really thought was that it must get a lot worse than this, and when it does, then I will know it's time to go!

My sisters were headed out to do some shopping at Tempe Marketplace and since I wanted to do some walking to hopefully get things going, I decided to come along. Marcus, of course joined too.

The sisters shopped, but Marcus and I just kept walking and walking. I was feeling the contractions much more and didn't feel like browsing and sharing pleasant conversations--haha. He kept asking me, "Can we go now?" "How about now?" Eventually he stopped asking, but his quiet frustration was almost worse. By that evening, the contractions seemed to spread out, which was really discouraging, but I thought, at least I'll be able to get a good nights rest...

At 3AM I woke up with STRONG contractions. I got ready while Marcus slept, because I couldn't sleep and I wanted to make sure they were real and timeable. I couldn't believe how calm I felt as I floated around the house getting things in order. It was like time was going slow and fast all at once and that I was really just watching myself from outside my body. It's hard to explain, but Marcus stayed asleep until I was ready and sure this was the real deal. I whispered that it was time for him to get ready and then we could go. He woke up in total shock--first because it was really happening and second because he couldn't believe he slept through all of it. I tried texting my sister Heidi who flew in from Utah to be with us in the room for delivery as support, but she wasn't responding, so when we took Poppy over to my mom's, I snuck down into the basement and whispered that we were heading over and that we'd text her once we got closer.

Of course, she couldn't sleep after that and ended up at the hospital not long after us.

When we got to the hospital, the contractions were much more uncomfortable. It took a little while to get checked in. They had me in a little side room to monitor and decide if they'd admit me. When they checked me, I was just a little above a 4 and they said I could go home if I wanted. I was so discouraged and shocked! Why would they send me home!? When the nurse saw my shock, she said she'd go ask the doctor. Then she came back and said I could stay, but would be put in a room they usually just use for storage because they were full. I told them I didn't mind a bit, but that I didn't want to go to my room yet, I wanted to keep walking. They said that was fine. Just then, my sister, Heidi showed up. She snapped a few pictures of us walking the hallways and then settled in our room and waited for us to come there.

After walking for sometime, I decided to go on with my plan to labor in the laboring tub they have at Banner Gateway. The nurse filled the tub and I got in my swimsuit. The room was quiet and dim, but the water was just luke-warm--not exactly the jacuzzi spa I was hoping for, but it still felt nice to be away from the medical room and with two people I loved in a calming space. At first I laid there, focusing on my breathing, but after about 45 minutes the water was cold, I was in serious pain and I couldn't tell if my uncontrollable shaking was from my dropping body temps or my nervousness, so I decided to get out and dry off.

To the room to robe-up, use the bathroom and get settled in my very large storage/delivery room. I met some of the nurses, gave them copies of my birth plan and settled in to get checked. At this point I was between a 7 and an 8. Things were getting pretty terrible, but I wanted to wait a little longer. I had grown up with absolutely terrible menstrual pains (read here), some GYNs speculate that I have endometriosis, and my entire pregnancy I was wondering if labor would be anything like that pain.

Well, it was--pretty much exactly like that, which was partly terrible, because it's probably the worst pain I've ever experience, but it was partly comforting, because it was something I had experienced, and survived. Although, usually with the generous help of my best girl, Midol!

(I should clarify that the contractions felt like terrible period cramps, the extreme pressure in your nether regions, were much more stressful and unfamiliar...)

I had told Marcus that I would go without the epidural as long as I wasn't passing out or throwing up (two things that happen to me during my worst periods). I didn't want that to be my memory of delivering my baby. After an hour or so, the nurse checked me and I was at a 9. They kept asking me if I was ready for the epidural (even though my birth plan mentioned several times, that I would ask if I needed it, and I didn't want to be offered, but what can you do?).

A few minutes after being checked I started shaking bad and throwing up and that's when I knew it was time. My anesthesiologist, Buck, was right out in the hall, ready and waiting. He works with Marcus regularly and Marcus was glad I got him because he knows he's good. I leaned over, trying not to shake too bad. He said I was super easy and it was done in a jiffy. Before getting it, I told him to do the lowest possible dose and he agreed. Within 5 minutes of getting it, I was professing my love for him. And within 10 minutes I was fast asleep. I think I slept for around an hour. I could still feel my contractions when i woke up and the nurse kept asking if I wanted to up my dose and I kept telling her I liked that I could feel them--the edge was taken way off, but I still knew what was going on. I could also feel when I flexed my stomach muscles and could move my feet and legs. I was so happy and wouldn't let the nurse come near the button that upped my dose--it was like she didn't believe me that I wanted to feel something!

Another nurse came in and checked me and told me it was time to start "practice pushing" they broke my water and I did my first practice push. One or two of those and the doc on call was there telling me it was for reals now. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed and everyone kept telling me how awesome I was pushing and I knew I was doing awesome because I could feel all the muscles I was engaging, but where the heck was my baby!? The contractions were right on top of each other, I had literally no time to take a breath between pushes and I thought the veins on my head were truly going to burst (and so did Marcus). Again and again and again, they kept telling me to keep going, keep pushing. I was so so tired, but I refused to show it because I was so scared the doc was going to say I was too tired and would have to go in for a C-Section. That was my worst nightmare, that and an episiotomy...

After about 45 minutes of hard back to back pushing, the doc said I was doing everything right, but the baby wasn't coming down. I was too tiny and he was wedged behind a muscle that wasn't budging. She said she needed to do an episiotomy. She then proceeded to tell us how dumb we were for thinking a tear would heal better than a cut. I had done a lot of research on the subject and except in the rare case you're going to tear all the way up, then a natural tear always heals better than a clean cut. I was so mad at how she was belittling us. I told her we'd keep trying, but eventually she said she needed to do it and I was too tired to fight it and she promised that as soon as she did, he'd pop right out! I begrudgingly consented, hanging on the promise of him popping right out... He did not. I kept pushing and he was still stuck. Then I tore and tore some more and finally she said the hair was out. It was a lot of hair and it was dark. Then I felt the pressure of him coming the rest of the way and then he was on my chest and it was glorious.

He was swollen and pink and healthy and fat and he was adorable. I proudly proclaimed, "We did it, we beat the odds, we had a cute newborn!" And everyone laughed and agreed. Marcus cut the cord once it stopped pulsing and we cried and cried as we looked at our wide awake, super aware little baby boy...Simon.

After they weighed him (7 lbs 12.5 oz) and got his foot prints, we tried nursing and he took right to it. I was so tired and so happy. He was the sweetest little person and I COULD NOT BELIEVE it was all real. Besides the fact that I pretty much hated the on-call doctor and swore if I ever ran into her on the street, I'd punch her in the face. I absolutely loved my labor and delivery. I've never felt so loved and adored by Marcus and I've never felt so strong and triumphant and I've never loved anything so much in all my life. It was truly glorious. I look forward to nothing about pregnancy. I can candidly say that I hated everything about it other than watching him move inside me. But I look forward to everything about labor and delivery. It was so hard and so tiring and so exhausting and so painful, but it was so empowering and I loved it so much.

Recovery was a whole other story that I will share some other time. But all I can say, is that it's worth it.

Pinky, pinky promise.

Picnic with Stitched

I've already begun stressing about how I'm going to survive as a mother when summer hits here in Arizona. Simon and I are both happiest when we're outside exploring nature and enjoying God's creations, but when it's 115+ degrees, it's not even safe to spend more than a few minutes outside (besides the fact that it's completely miserable). But I'm trying my best to enjoy the time we still have before summer gets real. Stitched, a new custom design quilt company let me try out their service and I designed this pretty little picnic blanket, so we made the most of the cool evening temps and had a picnic on our back patio, both Simon and Poppy thought it was pretty cool and when they're happy, I'm happy :) I think this blanket will be getting a lot of use!

If you like the quilt I designed or have a design idea of your own, be sure and check out their kickstarter here and see how you can customize your own.

And please share tips how surviving the heat with a kid!

custom puzzle from this & that etc.//Simon's linen romper found here, moccs found here

15 Tips for Traveling with a Baby

me// top, jeans, booties
simon//bonnet, mocs, similar onesie, linen jumper (made by me)

As you may have noticed, if you're a regular reader of the blog/IG, for the past few years Marcus and I have been on the search for our dream location to settle down for good (or at least for the next several years). We want somewhere with mild seasons (i.e. NOT Rexburg's eternally windy cold winters and NOT Phoenix's blistering summers), somewhere we can have quite a bit of land, a friendly community, somewhere with lots of sunny days for me and lots of cloudy days for Marcus (are we demanding so much?! haha). OH! And it would be lovely if it was somewhere not terribly far from family. Finding all these things in one place have been, well...extremely challenging and stressful! But this year we've made it our goal to explore some of the "maybe's" on our list, so that we can be one step closer to making a decision!

We've had so many people mention Tennessee when we listed off our requirements, and since Phoenix leaves much do be desired in the Fall colors department, we decided October was a perfect time to take a road-trip across the beautiful Volunteer State! While we were over there, we figured we'd through in a drive through The Great Smoky Mountain National Forest and take a snooze in North Carolina. So glad we did, you aren't going to believe the beauty when you see the pictures!

It was our first flight with Simon and I was so nervous. I did so much research on tips and tricks for traveling with a baby and so I'll share some that worked for us. He actually did really great on the way over there, but after a week in the car, his trip home was less than stellar. Even with those hard 4 hours, traveling with him was worth it! I don't think we would have enjoyed our trip without him there!

1. Strollers & Carseat + Base can be checked at the gate and don't count against your baggage number or as carry-on items. We brought our whole orbitbaby travel system (carseat, base and stroller because it's our favorite baby item and we didn't want to even go a week without it and since the carseat clicks right into the stroller, it works great!)

2. Any liquids needed for the baby are fine to go through security regardless of the ounces.

Playing around before take-off

3. If the plane has an empty (window) seat, you can bring on your carseat for free, just ask at the gate! It's, of course, safer for the baby to be buckled in their seat on the flight, but even if you have to take them out, it's nice to have the whole row to yourself, especially when you're breast-feeding.

4. If your baby is happier being worn, wear him in your ergobaby carrier and use the stroller to hold the carry-on bags!

5. These clips from fawn design bags are awesome for holding your diaper bag on the stroller! Because when you're traveling, all the extra help with storage you can get is appreciated!

6. You need to check in once you get to the gate and get your stroller tagged (we didn't realize this at first and it delayed us just a minute or two from boarding early, it was fine, but I still wish we'd have known before).

7. At least on Southwest 'Family Boarding' is right after A Passengers, so if you forget to check in online, fear not--you will most likely be able to find a seat with your husband.

8. Wait to breast-feed until take-off--the sucking will help with the pressure in their ears, plus if you're lucky all the white-noise from the engine will put them right to sleep at least for part of the flight!

9. Using pacifier clips, like these from Madeline's Box, for toys are awesome, because heaven knows trying to retrieve dropped toys in such cramped and germy quarters is no fun.

10. Bring a few tried and true toys as well as one or two new exciting toys (don't under-estimate the excitement of the noisy pages of the plane magazine or barf bag or the crinkling of an empty water bottle--all of these things ended up being Simon's favorite things on the plane!) And snacks that take some times to eat are great too!

11. This might be the time to allow an app--we're pretty strict on no phones for baby, but i downloaded a baby animal flash card app and a bubble popping app and when times got tough on the plane, we pulled those out--he was only interested for a few minutes (which i was glad about) but it distracted him long enough to calm him down and we were glad we had them.

12. A passport or birth-certificate is needed to qualify for a free lap-child under the age of 2. They may not ask to see it if your baby is obviously young, but bring it just in case!

13. Be strategic when picking flight times! On our way home, we knew there was a long drive to the airport (3+ hours) and then a long flight home (4 hours), so we made sure to get to the airport with a few hours to spare so that we could let him crawl around and be somewhat unrestrained for a bit. Some airports even have play areas for kids!

14. Most people are nice and understanding and even helpful--so don't stress too much if you have a cranky baby. It will all be over and just a few hours and you'll be somewhere wonderful and exciting! Don't let babies stop you from traveling if it's something you love!

Bonus Tip! Bring your carseat mirror to install in the rental car! We are obsessed with this happy turtle one we have. It makes checking on your baby and interacting with them so much easier in the car, plus--they LOVE to look at themselves!

glimpse//a sunday afternoon

The boys and pup are napping on the bed and I'm wondering the house, not quite sure what to do with these rare moments of silent alone time. I should probably be cleaning up or cooking dinner. That would be the prudent thing to do with these cherished hands-free moments, but instead I will walk around admiring the quiet beauty of the house and my favorite sleeping creatures. Each one of them drive me crazy in their own endearing way, but oh how I love them. I'm still trying to figure out this new mom life. I assume that will forever continue--does anyone ever really figure it out? But mostly it is hard and good. I think it is very best when that fat little fairy is asleep, but am quickly reminded that isn't so, when I walk into the room and his happy eyes meet mine. He is all the better fresh from a nap.

Goodnight Moon! {Our 0-4 Month Bedtime Routine}

Bedtimes around here are second only to mornings on my list of favorite times with my Simon boy. Simon is always so excited to have Marcus home from work, and Marcus is always ready to play with Simon and get all his giggles out, essentially wearing him out and getting him ready to hit the hay!

It's amazing how satisfying it is to look over and see your handsome husband pull out all the silly stops in order to get your sweet baby to squeal and squawk and giggle his little heart out. Nobody can make Simon laugh like his dad can. Seeing Marcus look like the biggest fool, which somehow also makes him look like the most attractive man in the world is fatherhood in a nutshell, I guess :)

(and just as a little bit of encouragement for new moms, those first few months are so sweet, but also so so hard, but when your baby starts to laugh, oh-my-gosh--it's like fairies are bursting out of their mouths and your heart is popcorn producing rainbows and the rainbows start pouring out rain and turn you into a puddle on the floor, and the puddle seeps out into the lawn and the lawn springs forth daffodils--at least that's the general idea and feeling...)

Anyways, as a new mom, I signed up for several email newsletters updating me on milestones, and tips and tricks on eating, sleeping, playing, etc. Over and over again they all talked about starting a bedtime routine as soon as possible. I had a hard time believing that my tiny newborn could really start to notice patterns like the newsletters claimed, but I figured we'd give it a shot. It was a change as Marcus and I have never been really routine people. We're both pretty laid back, so we just kind of did whatever we felt like, when we felt like it, but instating this routine has been fun for me.

Everything doesn't happen every night and if we skip or rush one thing or another, Simon usually doesn't seem to mind, but there are a few things that make a HUGE difference on how our night goes--believe me, I've learned the long, hard, restless way...

So here's our general bedtime routine that we've been using pretty much since the beginning, I'd love to hear what works for you and your littles!

1. Bathtime
Those weeks after delivery are rough. Your body has gone through a LOT and you can feel it. In the beginning we were just doing sponge baths on Simon, but I still took a bath myself every night. It was much needed relief to my healing body, but also 15-20 minutes of alone time and I needed that. Now that I'm feeling a lot better and I'm also emotionally a lot more used to motherhood, I LOVE co-bathing with Simon. It's easier and more fun than using a sink tub in my opinion. To ease him into this routine, I would nurse him when we first got in, but now he knows what's going on and loves it. It's so fun to see him kick and splash and smile back at me. I like to think he remembers swimming around in the womb and feels at home in the water.

If you're on the look out for a baby wash, I can not say enough about Tubby Todd--it's seriously the best smelling stuff in the world and free from all those nasty chemicals found in Johnson's and even in Aveeno! Our whole family uses the lotion as well. LOVE Tubby Todd and love supporting a mom run business.

2. Diaper Change by Dad

Marcus and I were raised by parents from a different generation (both our parents are in their 70s). I don't know about Boss Nielson, but I'm pretty sure my dad didn't change a single one of his 8 children's diapers. I was going to make sure Marcus could never come anywhere close to that claim. So right from the beginning I expected that when Marcus was home, he changed the diapers. There has never been any real discussion or argument about this, I would just hand him Simon and tell him he needs a new diaper and Marcus would take care of it. Now I don't have to say anything most of the time, I'm proud of the kind of Dad Marcus has become. Simon is lucky to have him as an example.

3. Parents Get Ready for Bed

While Marcus takes care of lotioning and diapering the babe, I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth, then while I read Simon a story, Marcus has his turn.

4. Bedtime Story

Probably my favorite part of bedtime is story time. I've always been a huge fan of children's books and now I finally have an excuse to buy A LOT of books :) I tend to switch off between my faves and Simon's faves. Iggy Peck, Architect falls in the my favorite column--it's beautiful and clever and I can't wait to buy the sister book, Rosie Revere, Engineer. Simon's favorites are Good Night Moon and The Little Blue Truck (Lucky me, I love that one too :))

5. Playtime & Ergobaby Swaddle with Dad

Marcus usually joins us half way through story time and once we're done, we play with Simon and get him all worn out. He's always full of giggles and we love this time of day with him! Dad's in charge of swaddling because he can get him wrapped up tight :) We love our Ergobaby Swaddler because Simon can't break free like he can when we use blankets. It's also designed so you can do a diaper change without unwrapping the whole thing. There were nights in the beginning that we were too tired and skipped the swaddle and without fail, it always ended up being a terrible night with countless wake-ups. We quickly put two and two together and now we NEVER skip this step. It's actually really funny, whenever someone asks us what our favorite baby item is, Marcus quickly answers, the Ergobaby Swaddler! As you can see, Simon likes it too :)

6. White Noise

This is another part of the magic sleep equation. When we don't have this on, there are definitely more wake-ups. I had a noise-maker in my amazon cart, but then Marcus found that there were tons of options on Spotify! Relaxing Rain is my personal favorite.

7. Nursing to Sleep

Having Simon swaddled up while I nurse him, keeps him so calm. When babies are this young, they don't have much control over their little arms and legs, so being wrapped up make them feel secure. I love nursing Simon; we rarely use bottles because there's pretty much nothing I find cuter than looking down and seeing my shiny little man doze off in satisfaction snuggled up next to me :) I've been really lucky with breastfeeding, I know it's not as dreamy for everyone, but I hope all you mamas out there get to have some fond memories of it at least for a little bit.

And that's it! This is what works for our family. Our nights are not perfect, and some are definitely better than others, but overall, we love our bedtime routine and we love having Simon in bed with us. I know there are differing opinions on that topic, but there is research on both sides and I'm a strong believer in a mother's intuition, so do your research and make the choice that you feel best about. 

You can read more about bed-sharing here  and here if you're interested. Also recently read these and I'm obsessed: one & two

This post was sponsored by Ergobaby, but all opinions are my own. I truly appreciate the support from my sponsors since it allows me to continue creating fun, original content for you to read. Be sure and check them out!