i was thinking today, about growing--not physically, but emotionally. i was trying to pinpoint the phases in my life that i have grown the most and what caused the growth. i realized, not surprisingly, that it was times of struggle. it was when my heart was broken, it was when people were making hard choices that were outside of my control and yet still had an impact on me, it was when i was in a new and hard place without the people i was used to leaning on, and while all of those times were a struggle, some uncomfortable, some down right anguishing they were also the times i look back at and feel a sense of pride, because i became a little bit more of who i am--and while i still have a lot more to learn, improve, and change about myself, those stuggles helped me.
i've been feeling dull lately, as i mentioned before, and i think it's because life is so easy.
i feel ungrateful for saying such a thing, but it's the truth.
we have enough for everything we need. we live in the place we grew up in, so it's safe, and known, and...unexciting. we're surrounded with family, so we have no incentive to go outside ourselves and help or rely on others. and while i know that's mostly our own fault--we can grow and develop and serve in all places and situations, i'm/we're generally the kind of people that need a little push.
and so here i am, tucked safely in the forest, and like a crazy person, asking to be put out on the cliff.
i need a challenge--
i'd prefer it to be nothing too extreme, but then again, i've been there and done that, and i've survived, so i know i can again. i guess i'll take whatever i need to become better.
i'm sure i sound crazy for writing such an idea, but maybe i'm not the only one who feels this way.
and even if i am--i am me, and these are my feelings.
16 comments
I see what you mean, and I understand 'cause it seems logic to be in need of aventure! I just came back from Hong Kong after 5 months and that's enough for adventures for now. I need some ordinary life for a while :)
I couldn't have said it better myself! You literally just voiced what I haven't been able to put to words. Thank you for making me smile.
My suggestion? Move away! Being on the East Coast away from family and everything familiar has been so hard for me...but has also helped me grow exponentially. It has brought Steve and I closer and helped us to reach out to others. That said- I would move back to California in a heart beat.
Ashley I totally get you! After being married about a year Jay and I ended up moving back where we both grew up. At first we loved being so close to family, ande we still do, but I have struggled with the idea that we weren't being stretched and forced to get out of our comfort zones. It was almost as if I never quite grew up. And then I realized that that was my challenge, I am having to learn to blossom where I have been planted and make this whole different experience back in the place of my childhood a new and exciting experience. It has not been easy. It is hard to feel like you are progressing when everything seems so familiar. but you are...
The greatest adventure of all is motherhood...
Had to comment on this. Love your blog, by the way.
I'm going to try to make a VERY long story short-ish. My husband has always wanted to join the military. I always told him absolutely not. At the beginning of last year, I had a really strong prompting that this was something we needed to talk about again. I fought it, but I knew it was the right thing. Fast forward about a year, and he is scheduled to leave for basic training soon. For the last few months I have had the feelings you describe. We love our house, our neighborhood, our ward, our friends, we are close to family...but something is missing. Is this it? We feel bored, and like we need a stretch. It was such a blessing to get that prompting last year, it has already filled a need I didn't know I would have.
So to sum up, I am terrified. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. I'm facing life by myself, with 2 toddlers in tow, and sending my husband to fulfill his dreams. It isn't the way I pictured my life going, but Heavenly Father has given me so much peace about it. I am excited to be on my own and struggle and grow and become the strong person I want to be.
My advice to you: You are in a place to choose what your hard thing will be. I was in this same place. It is such a blessing to feel those pushes to be stretched, and then have a chance to "choose your own adventure." As you know, it isn't easy, but maybe this is a chance to change your life and do something you never thought was in your reach. Good luck!
I totally understand. I am 30 years old and live in my grandparents house...they don't live with me we bought the house they lived in. I live down the street from the Elementary, Middle and High School I went to, I work for my Dad and My children are watched by my mother. You want to talk about growing up....I still feel like I am stuck at 17. My kids think I am this funny grown child....not always the best for your kids to feel that way. So yeah for someone who lives in the same town she grew up in, in a house she practically lived in her entire life...I totally understand. I often think I should just pack it up and move away, but Mrs realistic slaps me in the face and reminds me that I am not single and 17 anymore. My husband has an awesome job that could lead to a wonderful life for us real soon and lets face it....packing up your family and moving away is pretty scary stuff. So looks like I am up for a challenge to make my life here in my small little town more fantastic.
Oh, the voice of youth! In 10 years (which will fly by), you will re-read this post and re-examine your thoughts from this time and wonder why on earth you (in essence) asked for hardship and trials.
I have learned that when you ask, ye shall receive. And, the qualifying, "nothing too hard" is not something you will ever have any control over.
Count your many blessings! There will be a time that you absolutely long for this carefree time in your life. (And, I do get the restless feeling you have expressed. I've been there. I think what you are going through is very common and normal.)
Perhaps your challenge is finding beauty and growth in stagnation?
You explained exactly how I was feeling a year ago! I made a BIG change by moving from Canada to NYC and starting a program I had only ever dreamed of doing. BUT I don't think you need to do anything too drastic. How about coming up with a bucket list for Arizona?! I just made one for new york and it's all the things I have wanted or thought of doing here, some more out of my comfort zone than others. This way, you can appreciate/enjoy the place that you live and maybe see it in a different light. Plus you also get to try new things and maybe become inspired...at the very least you'll have fun and it'll make for some great dates! :)
Ashley, my love. I know how you feel! Of course, my life has made a drastic change in the last few months, and it will only get even more different in the upcoming weeks, but I know the feeling of boredom all too well. Something I have thought a lot about, that I want to do when Zoey gets a bit older, is volunteer at a shelter. I can only imagine how much my perspective would change. Maybe that's something you could do?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels the EXACT same way.
a great woman once said, "the only way to get unstuck is to reach"
i believe this
You are definitely not alone, when it happened to me it struck me in the middle the night like a bolt of lightening. I was suddenly so restless I stopped sleeping. And I felt like I was in a tough spot. I loved being close to family and in a life I knew but I just didn't want to live my everyday on repeat. We decided to up and move to the Sub Arctic, 1 month and 12 days later we were on a plane. It's one of the craziest things we've ever done but it has been the most amazing adventure. We work for a school board and help kids that really need love and encouragement. Our next adventure is to fly off and adopt an orphan.
I completely recommend going off in search of rough seas, you never know what wonders you'll find on the high seas.
Cheers.
im feeling somewhat this way..i think it is more due to having the urge to learn more. i am constantly learning by trying new recipes, and coming up with my own, or reading health books..but id like to go back to school, and find people like me. i know there are people like me out there, but i dont have any of them as friends. i feel like most people roll their eyes at my knowledge, and for once, i would like to have a decent convo about what interests me, with someone who gets it. I feel like i need to move to oregon where i have more in common with people living a granola life style haha. I wont be the weird awkward one who cloth diapers, baby wears, eats veg, earth loving person. i just feel like i know no one who is on the same page as me...But, this does not discourage me from living this way, in fact it encourages me to keep going..sorry to ramble, i just have been feeling this way lately.
-m
I really love the pictures!!!
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