Last weekend was one of the funnest weekends I've had in a while.
And to think I almost missed it all because I was nervous about going.
You see, I ran into Chelsea at Rita's Italian Ice and she told me about this Lulu's Style Party and I said I would see if I could, but in the back of my mind, I was already nervous.
I don't really know when it happened or if I've always been this way, but big groups of people I don't know (or at least know very well) give me mild anxiety.
This is a weird realization for me to come to, because I grew up being labeled as and even feeling like I was very social and that nothing made me feel embarrassed.
I think I can credit that to my core group of friends--I had the same best friend since I was in 3rd grade and just about the rest of my 'core group' since I was in 9th grade. We did everything together and I felt 100% comfortable and confident around them. Which in turn made me feel like I could do anything or go anywhere with them without ever feeling nervous, because I knew they would always have my back and think I was cool/funny/fun no matter what anybody else thought.
Well, as I grew up, moved around, got boyfriends and friends that were outside that 'core group', and then got married, we drifted a part a little bit, which for a while was really, really hard for me, but now I know it's a normal progression.
We still love each other and hang out from time to time, but we're all at different places and have busy lives, so it's okay that we're not connected at the hip anymore.
What I'm trying to say, is that I don't have my security blanket anymore and going to events and blogger parties with a bunch of beautiful and talented and sweet ladies that I know only from the internet makes me really, really nervous.
I'm afraid I'll have nothing to talk about, or I'll be nothing like they imaged I was, and so I usually talk myself out of going.
But last weekend with some encouragement from Chelsea and the support of Marcus I went.
And you know what? It was awesome.
I don't really know when it happened or if I've always been this way, but big groups of people I don't know (or at least know very well) give me mild anxiety.
This is a weird realization for me to come to, because I grew up being labeled as and even feeling like I was very social and that nothing made me feel embarrassed.
I think I can credit that to my core group of friends--I had the same best friend since I was in 3rd grade and just about the rest of my 'core group' since I was in 9th grade. We did everything together and I felt 100% comfortable and confident around them. Which in turn made me feel like I could do anything or go anywhere with them without ever feeling nervous, because I knew they would always have my back and think I was cool/funny/fun no matter what anybody else thought.
Well, as I grew up, moved around, got boyfriends and friends that were outside that 'core group', and then got married, we drifted a part a little bit, which for a while was really, really hard for me, but now I know it's a normal progression.
We still love each other and hang out from time to time, but we're all at different places and have busy lives, so it's okay that we're not connected at the hip anymore.
What I'm trying to say, is that I don't have my security blanket anymore and going to events and blogger parties with a bunch of beautiful and talented and sweet ladies that I know only from the internet makes me really, really nervous.
I'm afraid I'll have nothing to talk about, or I'll be nothing like they imaged I was, and so I usually talk myself out of going.
But last weekend with some encouragement from Chelsea and the support of Marcus I went.
And you know what? It was awesome.
Marcus was there for me in the beginning when i didn't know who to talk to, and then we found Scott and Chelsea and had some fun with them, talking and taking silly pictures. Did you know they are the nicest and easiest people to get along with?
After that, we were on our own again, and I got a little nervous and just as we were about to leave, I decided to be brave (i know this sounds lame) and introduce myself (in person) to my blog friend, Mara.
 |
| little black dress and belt: c/o Oasap, necklaces: j.crew shoes: last chance |
And you know what? It was awesome.
She was so nice, we went and got delicious POM mocktails and did the Mr.FunBooth and just hung out. I felt like we were long-time real-life friends and I can't wait for her to bring Matthew back to Phoenix so we can go on a triple date with them, Scott and Chelsea!
What I learned was that if you want to have great experiences in life, you've got to put yourself out there and feel uncomfortable every now and then. Sometimes it will probably be really awkward, but sometimes it will be awesome--and for that, it's worth it.
26 comments
ah i knew i saw you there! i tried to find you after to say that i love your blog but i just didn't catch ya! so glad you had a wonderful time :)
http://ktandcamsmith.blogspot.com/
oh man! next time!
Ashley! It was so amazing to finally meet you and hang out! I can't wait to come back to Phoenix with Matthew and we can go on a double date (or triple date with Chelsea and Scott!). Also, I totally know what you mean. I get really shy and social events make me really nervous too, especially when I don't know anyone. I'm trying to be better about that, though. I was really nervous about the Lulu*s event because I wouldn't have a friend (or husband!) with me but I tried to be as outgoing as I could and introduce myself to people. And I had so much fun! It's a reminder to me too that I need to step out of my shell every once in a while :) You're so right that we have to put ourselves out there, even if we'll feel a little uncomfortable, because it will be awesome and worth it!! Long comment but basically I know what you mean!! Talk soon blog (and now in real life!) friend :) xox
ahhhh I have the EXACT same feelings! I live in NYC, and fashion week happened and all these people came, and there was a blogger picnic, and I got way too nervous to go, but then it was right after church, only a block away, so i walked up to the park, and then I saw the group and I freaked out and turned and around and sat on a bench, and then I sat there for like ten minutes and then I got up and left, and then I felt sill and wanted to make friends so I went back, but as soon as I got close and saw people I freaked out again and turned around and left.......so sad. glad you got up the courage1
im the exact same. but worse. i feel like ive become impaired when before i really would just talk to anyone. i just feel like im cool enough and they won't like me for real. i'm so glad that you did it though, sounds like so much fun cute girl! i love all of these pictures!
Oh wow, thank you so much for posting this! I seriously thought I was the only one but I get pretty nervous around groups of people too and most of the time I talk myself out of going. You always seem so confident on your blog and it makes me feel better when I see people who seem to have it all put together struggle just like me. Great job for going and meeting other people! Whenever I can convince myself to go to things, I always have a lot of fun, so that's super great for you. Thanks again! :)
Newest follower here! I love this post. It looks like the party was super fun--I mean what could be more fun than blogger events? I can't wait to read more!
-meandmr.com
That's so awesome--what a great lesson for everyone to learn from. Thanks so much. It looks super fun, and you look great!! :)
I AM SO JEALOUS THAT YOU MET MARA. like, I just don't even know what to say right now. she's definitely one of my biggest obsessions/inspirations in the blogging world.
also, glad to see that you had fun. I always feel awkward in large groups of people I don't know - I guess I haven't completely lost the shy little girl inside me. but you just have to push past it, you know? otherwise life would be really boring.
Great post! I do the same thing sometimes with talking myself out of blogger events. It is scary going when you don't know anyone. Your photos are so cute- glad you had fun!
I've always been shy but I sometimes gathered some strength from I don't know where and get to do things. but mostly it's me getting anxious and even crying :S
yayyy I totally saw you there! That was awesome, I'm glad you went :) Did you win anything awesome with the spin wheel at the end? And I agree, it can be intimidating to go to big events when you're not sure you'll know anyone or have any fun. I am exactly the same way. But it turned out to be a total blast! :)
The House of Shoes
hahaha i've totally done that before. it's crazy! and really hard when you're in a new place especially. i'm sure everyone will love you though :)
girl! you seem so sweet, i'm sure you're cool enough! i guess we just need to remember that most everyone else feels just like us!
hi! glad you're here :)
thank you so much!
they're intimidating for sure!
it really was so fun! you seem so outgoing, i'm surprised you ever get nervous to go to those things! fun seeing you, you all looked amazing :)
very true, and mara is so so nice! hope you get to meet her someday :)
that's really sweet of you! looks like we're not alone with our social shyness :)
loved this. and loved meeting you. it seems like there are a lot of us 'shy girls' i guess it's nice to know that everyone there is probably feeling similar, so we can all support each other by being friendly :) can't wait til we meet up again! hopefully soon!
You are so adorable! Looks like you had a great time!
http://shannonhearts.blogspot.com
I am totally the same way! I am super outgoing around my close friends, but when it comes to crowds of people that I don't know I freak out. Lately I have really tried to push myself to go to blog meetups and I have made some great friends because of it (the idea of a big blog conference still scares the living daylights out of me though)! It looks like you had such an amazing time and you look amazing, as usual :)
It's like I wrote this myself. I feel like a was super outgoing and not afraid of social situations when I was in high school and even after that. I think around the time I got married I started to get really awkward. Even around my friends that I've been pals with for 10 years I get a little awkward around now. I'm not really sure what happened but you're right. You have to put yourself out there. I think the more we do uncomfortable things the easier it will become. Thanks for posting, it's nice to know I'm not alone in my socially awkwardness haha.
Looks like so much fun! http://www.hannamarielei.com/
how fun! i think everyone has a little bit of that shyness in them. and I myself was in this same situation super recently! i was in NY last weekend and ended up going to Joy Cho's book signing by mySELF!!!! and then introducing myself her and naomi from rockstar diaries- i was a nervous wreck, and felt like an idiot afterward (bc i talk a lot when nervous!), (certainly helps to have your husband there!) But at the same time glad I went and met them! Cute pictures! and love your blog :)
Post a Comment