9.25.2011

Goldilocks.

I should have been born south of the border.
claus·tro·pho·bi·a/ˌklôstrəˈfōbēə/ is an extreme or irrational fear of confinement or enclosed spaces and is usually brought on by a traumatic experience in childhood, such as being separated from one's parents in a crowd or being enclosed in a dark box or room. It is classified as an anxiety disorder as it manifests itself via panic attacks, difficulty breathing, increased heart rate and the removal of clothing. 

What is strange to me, is that I cannot think of a traumatic experience in my childhood that would justify my new found anxiety, nor do my symptoms fit exactly into this description, but the word claustrophobia is the only thing I can come up with to describe what I’ve been feeling for the last few weeks. 
In tango, people are ‘invading my space.’ Which, in tango, there really is no such thing as ‘my space’, nor have I ever had a problem with close proximity to perfectly nice people in the past. My shoes are consuming my feet. I end up barefoot at all my destination. I feel anxious and on edge when I’m at the house for more than an hour or two and my rings are choking each finger, and even without them there, I still feel confined. My heart literal beats faster just thinking about having a ring or shoes on right now.  
Here’s the only conclusion I can think of: I am in desperate need of my own space and my body is manifesting that in a very strange (and annoying) way.

My parents were good enough to let us bunk at their house while they were away, and I had such a blast with my sister and niece there, but it was still living out of boxes, sharing closets with my parents ‘left-behind’ clothes. Once my parents came home, Marcus’ parents have been SO generous to let us stay with them, they share their food and invite us out to dinner, and I’m incredibly grateful for that, but still, its not ours, and half of our stuff is still in boxes in storage; and I am still in somebody else’s house, in somebody else’s kitchen and in somebody else’s bed. (Luckily it’s that of my sweet in laws and not one of the Three Bears, but I just can’t wait much longer to have a place that is our own.) 
A home just for Marcus and Ashley, to walk around naked in if we fancy, to make waffles at 3 in the morning. To throw impromptu personal dance parties with the music blaring in the middle of the day in, and to decorate to our very own liking. 
It seems that this lack of a place to call ‘our home’ and this shared space is having a physical effect on me--cue the strange case of claustrophobia, and I think we’ve come up with just the cure…

We’re buying a condo! 
We got a really amazing deal and if all goes according to plan, it will close by the 30th of this month. I could not be more excited and while it is definitely going to be a PROJECT, I can’t wait to get my hands dirty and fix it right up!  Hopefully projects will go well and I can have some DIY features here on the blog in the next months. Anyways, I just wanted to share that exciting news with you, my internet friends, thanks for reading. 

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17 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your condo! :D I hope we get to see some cute photos of the finished product!

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  2. How exciting!  A place to call your own.  I can't wait to see some photos. 

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  3. Congrats on the condo! I totally know how you feel; I went backpacking for two months around Europe this spring, and after living out of a backpack and sleeping in different beds every 2 days, I was SO relieved (there might have been some jumps for joy and rolling around on carpet) when we got settled. Can't wait to see pics of how you decorate!

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  4. Congrats! How exciting to move to a new place. I can't wait to see you decorate it!

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  5. Congrats on your condo! I'm SURE this will make you feel better and relax you. Never forget deep breaths! <3

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  6. Yeah!  We were feeling the exact same way so we went and bought a townhouse and will close the first of October!  YAY!!!  Where do you guys live?

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  7. How exciting! Congrats!

    xo
    rachelsayumi.blogspot.com

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  8. Congratulations!! I can't wait to see pictures and everything that you guys do to it! Hopefully all of your claustrophobia-like symptoms go away!!

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  9. oh, yay! i'll keep my fingers crossed that everything works out with the condo. like i told you, i'm claustrophobic too so i definitely feel your sympathy (i think it's because my older brother used to tease me by trapping me under a blanket, haha).

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  10. Yay! That is so awesome! Congratulations!

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  11. I lived with my soon-to-be in-laws for a year and I know the feeling you're describing. There is something about being in your own space that is calming -- regardless of how nice your in-laws may be (mine were interesting). We moved to a new city and got a new place and it was the greatest thing that ever happened. I feel like a new woman.

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  12. yay! that's great! i understand how it must feel to live in a place it doesn't feel yours at all... so congrats for the new house!!!! =)

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  13. OH how exciting!!!!! Congratulations. :)

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  14. congrats on the condo.  that is huge happy good news.

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  15. you live next door to my parents then! I hear you on that feeling, I have been getting it too since living at my in-laws...I know it would be the exact same if I lived at my parents too. Its not the people, its just like you said, you're in someone elses house, kitchen, etc. But congratulations on the condo! So exciting!

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  16. awesome, good luck! our buying process was very difficult, but SO worth it. pray a lot! :)

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