8.25.2011

When you give a man a cookie...

Sometimes life brings you conversations you never imagined having with people you never imagined having them with. 
Source
That happened to me this week. 
I had just pulled a batch of cookies out of the oven and Marcus was feasting upon one or two when, as you might have imagined, he desired a drink of milk. 
He walked to one of the two fridges in the house and then to the other, but no milk could be found. 
He came back to me with a disappointing expression--and then the question came that led to the conversation I never imagined having, with the person I never imagined having it with.
"So, could milk come out of your...[eyes shift downward to my chest, then back to my eyes in hopes that he doesn't have to actually say it]. Like, does that ever happen to you? How does that even work?"
...................
I stood there, speechless. 
First off, had the fact that he was thirsty really brought this on? Were I to answer, "Why yes, can I pump you a glass?" Would he have accepted? 
Or did the word 'milk' just spark something in his brain that was hopefully a completely different train of thought then remedies for his thirst. Please let it be that one.
Secondly, was this real life? Did he really think that at all times women were lactating? Had he really been married to me for over a year and never noticed whether I had occasional milk spills from the 'girls'?

His questions were followed by an impromptu, and very necessary lesson on the female body, and we got things cleared up. 
And for any men out there embarrassed to ask, the answer is no--a resounding no.

(Please know that I am in no way suggesting that my husband is dumb, It just always makes me laugh when I realize how uninformed lots of men are about women's bodies (and probably vice-versa). I won't even tell you what his thoughts on periods were before he met me...but maybe I will someday. Who knows?)


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38 comments:

  1. so funny. it's ok marcus, i had to have the exact same conversation with my husband after about a year of being married.  

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  2. that is christian when we met.  Something is not being taught

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  3. Hahahahahaha. i honestly laughed out loud reading this. ohhh goodness. 
    -Eliesa

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  4. hahaha this made me laugh out loud. men can be SO insane sometimes!! 
    xo dana
    thewonderforest.com

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  5. Hahaha, that made my day :)

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  6. That is hilarious! I laughed out loud the entire time reading this! Ugh, men :)

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  7. Hahaha! This is so funny! My husband has asked some ridiculous questions as wl. They always make me laugh. I am sure that I've asked some weird questions too though.

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  8. lol!! that's hilarious!

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  9. This is the funniest post you've ever written. I love it because it's so classic and so typical of the male species to ask funny questions like that. "why yes, can I pump you a glass?" Hahaha. So funny.

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  10. Oh. My. Goodness. Funniest. Thing. Ever. :)

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  11. Oh my gosh, this made my day! I know what you mean about men not being informed. My close guy friends will ask me really insane questions as well.

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  12. It's probably not a guy thing so much as a parenting thing. My husband's mom is a nurse and she was always very open and honest with them about everything in life. My favorite story is when my brother in-law was about 3 he was watching the movies 'Look who's talking' which starts with sperm swimming towards an egg, his cousin said "look at the tadpods" and my brother in-law said no that's "scworm". 

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  13. subdued chuckling going on here at my desk...but it must be a guy thing. My husband once asked me (while we were dating) if a period was kinda like how chickens laid eggs. The poor man had no sisters. 

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  14. i was laughing out loud the whole time reading this haha so funny!

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  15. oh my goodness... i love this post! i've been married for a year and my husband asks some pretty funny things too. ahh i love it. 

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  16. That is so funny.  My brother-in-law used to think that girls could "hold" their periods, you know, like how you "hold it" when you have to pee.  He couldn't understand why we used tampons or pads... why didn't we just hold it until we got to the bathroom?  He was in high school when he finally found out we can't control THAT flow.

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  17. I couldn't help but laugh the whole way through this post :-) I recently found out that I'm pregnant and what has shocked me the most is how little women know about their own bodies. A few of my female friends have asked me if I still get my period and are then very amazed and follow up with "so you really aren't going to get your period for the whole 9 months?"........

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  18. HAHAHA, that's hilarious (& I'm positive most men are just like your hubby)

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  19. Hahahaha!!  LOVE this!  My husband would totally ask a question like this :)

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  20. It only scares me a little that Marcus is a practicing nurse! Hopefully not in Labor and Delivery? He'd get a real education around there. He's obviously not alone by the looks of these comments. And I've had some interesting questions about "guys stuff" with my hubby the last 11 years. "Seriously, how do you walk around like that?" :)

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  21. I am laughing out loud. This is great. Boys (and men, too haha) are so silly.

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  22. haha I just love men!! I want to hear about periods!!!

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  23. oh yeah, my husband asked me this once (not because he wanted milk though...haha!) and i almost died of A)laughter and B)embarrassment! lol, silly boys!

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  24. I kind of forgot he was a nurse. I'm a nurse too and we had a L&D rotation. Though I wanted done with that ASAP. Not for me. 

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  25. Oh!  I so needed that laugh today.  What a cutie!  I love your thoughts.  You two are so fun!!

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  26. Thanks for the laugh! Loved this story! :)

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  27. Oh my goodness.....THIS.IS.HILARIOUS!!! ha ha ha ha 

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  28. Oh my goodness, I just had this convo with my boyfriend! A few weeks ago, I was baby sitting a little baby that would only take breast milk from the source, which made baby sitting a little difficult. After telling my boyfriend that this was frustrating he said, "Why didn't you just whip one out?" I also stood there, speechless. He's really smart and working on his Ph.D., but he doesn't have very much female body knowledge...

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  29. Haha. I tell my husband all the time I never expected to have those conversations with him. At least now I know I'm not the only one that has to have them!

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  30. HAHAHAH!! That is freaking hilarious! Once, my sister told me that when women are breast feeding they develop a third nipple. Let's just say I didn't want to have children for quite a while. 
    http://projectadoration.blogspot.com

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  31. How can someone become a nurse without learning something like that?? I agree that most men don't know those things, but it's surprising to me that they don't do a basic overview of women's health in nursing school...

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  32. That makes me really sad that more women don't know how their own bodies work. In this day and age, with the internet, a quick search could give them that information if they were too embarrassed to ask, or check out a book from the library. How are women supposed to respect and take of their own bodies if they don't know how they work??

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  33. Hahahah! this is hilarious!!! I'm laughing so hard right now. I was once told that a guy I once knew didn't realize that women had 3 "holes" and they thought that the reason women wore pads and stuff while on their period was because they were lazy and didn't want to "hold it" like we do urine. And this guy was a married adult. WHAT?! hahaha! At least Marcus understands that right? And if it's any consolation, anyone can lactate regardless of pregnancy or not. It just takes lots of work. oh, but this is just too good. Thanks for the laugh.

    (I just saw that someone else knew someone who thought this. Apparently, it's not a unique situation. How sad!)

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  34. Too friggin funny for words! bhahahhah

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  35. wow, i hope i never have him as my nurse!

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