Week One With Simon

We're sitting here looking through old photographs of Simon when he was brand new and we're both practically in tears over how tiny he was. Marcus is commenting on how he didn't touch him enough, we didn't look at his tiny hands and his tiny toes and feet enough, and we didn't kiss his little mouth enough, and now he'll never be like that again.

And while I know we looked and touched and kissed and snuggled all his little precious features quite abundantly, it's hard to realize, you can't ever go back and babies change so fast, but as much as I adore looking at those precious brand new photos, I also remember how incredibly exhausting that time was and how incredibly sore I was and I am grateful that that time has passed and we're on to a new phase that is also exhausting, but in my opinion more rewarding because there is some feedback. We get smiles and when we're really lucky, we get laughs and when he's nursing and I catch him looking up at me and it makes me smile and he catches my smile and comes off the breast to get a better look at me and give me the sweetest smile a mother's ever seen, I'm grateful that babies grow quickly and give you those all too fleeting moments of sweetness that help you deal with all the hard stuff that comes.

You guys, it just keeps getting better. I just keep falling more in love. It feels like strings are stitched between my heart and his and more and more keep getting threaded through, the bond getting stronger and stronger. I love my Simon boy, I'll love him 'til the end of time and for all eternity.

He'll keep growing, and we'll keep looking back at each stage, and we'll never get to look at him, or touch him, or kiss him or snuggle him enough, but we will have tried, and he will know we loved him 'til we overflowed, and that's something we will never regret.

sweater used as wrap c.o. oasap (buy here)