I quickly reassured myself that I, in fact, did not have work and that is why I had stayed up late last night meticulously scheduling out all the errands I needed to accomplish the next day while he was at work. That is why the last thing I said to Marcus before going to bed was, "Since your parents are out of town, I need you to take your dad's truck so I have a car tomorrow. Otherwise I need to take you to work."
So why then was Marcus texting me this "You don't have work today, do you?" business anyway?
I told him I didn't have work, but I had an appointment and a bunch of important errands.
Then I asked him "Why?"
"Crap! Uh...well, I took my dad's truck, but I accidentally took our car keys too and I'm working in Sun City today..." The fact that he felt dumb was apparent.
Sun City is an hour away and I was now stranded at home with an undrivable car, an appointment to get to in less than an hour, and countless errands I was looking forward to getting done.
To say the least I was slightly (very) annoyed.
My first responses were laced with evidence of that slight annoyance, but as I sat there trying to figure out what could be done, I was about to send another text that would have made it clear that I wasn't slightly annoyed, but rather very, and this time it was more of a personal attack than a situation attack.
I caught myself before it was completely typed out.
I thought of the consequences of this text;
It would accomplish the following things:
1. Allow me to vent, once again, of my already obvious annoyance.
2. Make Marcus feel guilty.
3. Make Marcus feel even more stupid than he clearly already felt.
It would not accomplish the following things:
1. Teleport the keys from his pocket in Sun City to my hand in Mesa.
2. Get me to my fast approaching appointment.
3. Make Marcus and my relationship stronger and happier.
Seeing as that text was going to do absolutely no good, and in fact quite a bit of harm, I erased it.
I got up, washed my face, came up with a plan and sent Marcus a text that said not to worry and that I'd try and figure something else out.
He apologized one more time, and then I called my mom.
She said she could come and get me and let me borrow a car for the morning.
I got to my appointment just in time and got most of my errands taken care of.
When Marcus got home that night, he had had an awful day full of unfortunate occurrences, but he was so glad to come home to a wife that he had loving feelings toward, instead of one who had been rude and hurtful. I was so grateful that I took the time to think before I acted.
I hope that both of us can remember this throughout our marriage and while raising our children. Blaming people for unintentional mistakes and attacks on someone's character will never bring peace into a home. Problems can of course be discussed and annoyances can be addressed, but we must remember to do it gently and thoughtfully.
And we must always remember to not bring two sets of keys to work.