my monthly enemy.

1.31.2012

i had an unfriendly visitor and so marcus is at the store buying me midol without me even asking him, and for that i will forever love him.
while he was away, i got to thinking:
there are many things i am afraid of about someday being pregnant.
i'm afraid of how my life will change.
i'm afraid of what it will be like to have morning sickness.
i'm afraid of all the changes my body will go through that i probably don't even know about right now.
i'm afraid of any complications that could happen.
and i'm afraid that it could just not ever happen at all.
but one thing i'm not afraid of is if i'll be well taken care of.
marcus has shown me that he does that exceptionally well.
never has he failed to impress me as i lay on the ground crying in cold sweat or rocking over a trash can with throw-up on my mind (and maybe some in my hair). 
he holds me up or lays me down. 
he runs to get me water or stays put to rub my back, and all the while shows me perfect compassion-- 
a kind of compassion i've never mastered and doubt i ever will.
i love that man i married, more than i can ever remember as well as i do when i'm sick, and if i have to be sick to remember that special feeling, then i can at least look forward to that side-effect.

28 comments

Jamie said...

so sweet, ash. he is adorable and darling and i love how he treats you!

Jenn said...

Your comments perfectly express how I feel about pregnancy! Sometimes I get excited, then I get scared, and then I think, we're doing it together, and somehow it doesn't seem so bad : ) I still have some time before that happens, I think, but I love that my hubby has seen me at my best and worst and loves me the same either way. 

Jenn

passengerseatperspectives.blogspot.com

Kelly Jordan said...

Aw, this post was sweet :o) Hope you feel better soon!

Nonifdavies said...

Love your blog!  As a mother of 5 boys, I would love to reassure you of how wonderful pregnancy, birth and mothering are. You have a wonderful companion who will enjoy them with you and be an awesome father to them.  Our children are my greatest joy! There are lots of alternative options to help you through if you should have a few physical discomforts along the way. I found B-6 (3 doses of 50 milligrams spread throughout the day) completely solved my morning sickness. Consistent protein--like every 2 -3 hours when you are awake will help too.

Now for those monthly cramps, call Dave's Health in West Jordan, Utah and nutrition and have them mail you their menstrual cramps homeopathic. (It is about $6.) Take 2 pellets daily for about a month and then as needed as your time arrives. Their number is 801-446-0449. Great Relief! You can have them explain how to take and care for homeopathics if you are not familiar with them.

Jennifer Ray said...

I'm sorry your monthly visitor is such a pain, literally.  Yay for amazing husbands!

scott-and-jen.blogspot.com

Ronelle said...

Be comforted that if pregnancy is successful for you it will help significantly with the menstral symptoms (and not just while your preggers) Periods suck. Especially with endometriosis. Hang in there.

Ashley Nielson said...

Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! I will definitely call them and give it a try! It would be pretty amazing to not have to deal with this anymore :) you're the sweetest

McKenzie Mease said...

AW wow that is the sweetest thing ever. you are so very blessed to have each other!

<3
Kenzie

Shannon Weel said...

Ahhh... how sweet!  You are a beautiful writer, and you have an incredible husband.

http://shannonhearts.blogspot.com

Miranda said...

My boyfriend does the same thing. and THAT is how I know that I'm going to marry him. :)

Natasha St John said...

So sweet!

Colby and Jessica said...

This is such a cute post. You can tell how sweet Marcus is and just how much he loves you by the way he looks at you.

I just wanted to let you know that while pregnancy is a very life changing thing, it can be so wonderful! I loved every second of my pregnancy. I didn't have any morning sickness and I can count on one hand the things I had to complain about. I also gave birth naturally and had a completely pain free labor. I think it's common to hear pregnancy horror stories, so I just wanted to let you know that it isn't always bad! My boy is only 5 months and I already want to get pregnant again I loved it so much!

Anyway, I hope you feel better! (That's another upside to pregnancy. I've had a period once since November of 2010 since I'm nursing) Not that you needed to know that!! But... okay.. done commenting...

Kimberly Woodbury said...

Periods are the worst. Which is why pregnancy is such a blessing. Not having them for 9 months (and usually longer) is probably one of the best things about being pregnant. There are a lot of other great things too of course. I loved pregnancy at times and I hated it at times, but it was well worth it all. Having a loving and caring companion to take care of you is a HUGE help too. As far as your body changes go, I don't think you'll have much to worry about. Our bodies were designed for pregnancy and birth and they know just what to do (and since you're young and healthy, your body will probably have no problem bouncing right back to normal after having a baby). You never know if there will be complications getting pregnant, during pregnancy, or during labor, so just have faith that He will get you through it! Mason definitely changed our lives (in some ways better than others), but there really is nothing better than motherhood! I think you and Marcus will be fantastic and loving parents one day! 

Ashley Nielson said...

thanks kim! i love you girl. i get so much joy out of seeing how happy you and chase are with your little mason. he really is one of the cutest kids around! i always knew you two were some of the greatest people in arizona, so when you teamed up, like, duh! of course you'd be a winning team of parents :)

Ashley Nielson said...

that's what i've heard! sure hope so :)

Ashley Nielson said...

it's so great to have an awesome support :)

Amanda said...

also Vitex and fish oil every day, I barely get cramps anymore!

Jo said...

I love reading about other people in love. Good for you to have such great support!

Karabagley said...

You have good reason to be afraid...

Rach said...

Britt @ The Magnolia Pair said...

My husband does the same! So sweet he ran out and got you  meds, mine hasn't caught to do that yet! Hope your feeling better! I had really bad cycles and found out that I had cysts on my ovaries, so just be careful and tell your Dr. next time because throwing up is a huge sign. Loving your blog :) So happy to follow you!

XO. Brittwww.themagnoliapair.com

Mr. Taylor and his Lady said...

this is such a perfectly romantic post. and it makes me so very happy! are you guys thinking about starting a little family?!!
xo TJ

Leslietheyellowgirl said...

Your blog is a spoonful of sweet pure hope for all of us searching for our other half.

patienceamy said...

As a pregnant lady myself, my best advice would be don't worry too much. When you are ready you will deal with all the changes with ease and always remember that nothing lasts forever- the barf, the ginormous belly, the sleepless nights, the swelling, or the wonderful effects of pregnancy hormones on your hair and nails (that one is a little unfortunate ;) ). Well, the sleepless nights will probably last a while once the baby comes :), but what, a year? maybe two? Not so bad :). 

Allyssa Jackson said...

So I am 28 weeks pregnant with my first and let me tell ya. I was or am worried about every single thing you just mentioned! But once you feel that baby moving inside of you every fear goes away (at least for a minute or two.)

Cute blog, just stumbled upon it, I'm a fan!!

Allyssa
breakfastatthezemkes.blogspot.com

Tina said...

ok that was just tender. PS, don't worry about morning sickness. Crackers are the cure!!

EmilyWilcock said...

Everyone is different, I know, but luckily for me menstrual cramps were much more tolerable after I had my daughter. I can't figure out why. Have you heard about uterine massage? I hear it helps with all sorts of womanly problems. Look into it. I am doing it as soon as I get my IUD removed.

Dani said...

Let me be the first to tell you- I was scared too. 
And let me be the first to tell you- some of my pregnancy fears came true. 
And I will NEVER stop telling you, it is ALL worth it. Every moment of it. 

I had morning sickness before the pregnancy test even came back positive. My nose immediately became swollen and by the last month of pregnancy I was a mouth breather (VERY attractive, let me tell you). I have a bleeding disorder that caused me to be a high risk pregnancy from day one. My babys amniotic fluid levels were low, causing me to go on bedrest at 19 weeks. 

But despite ALL of it, it was totally worth it. 

Things can tend to suck with pregnancy, but with an awesome spouse (sounds like we both scored!), it isn't the end of the world, despite what our fears tell us. My husband was willing to go to the store for anything at any time (he even once ran to the store for eggs at 2 a.m. because I had a craving for scrambled eggs and we were out). He would sit with me in the bathroom every day while I was sick, even though it made him nauseated too. He stayed up late with me talking about my fears. By the end of pregnancy I felt disgusting and morbidly obese. Nothing was appealing anymore. 

The moment I was at L&D with my husband was the moment I realized how perfect he was. I knew he was awesome for the whole nine months, but in that moment, he was  flawless. I know you'll see it before I did, you have awesome intuition. 

If you need to talk to someone about your worries and woes, I'm always available. I do understand, and even though I am a total stranger, sometimes there is something nice about talking to a stranger. 

Beautiful blog. Saved, bookmarked, followed. :)

© i believe in unicorns. Maira Gall.